Monday, May 19, 2014

I don't agree with everything on every blog I follow

However, I feel a calling to speak for those who cannot or who have been silenced because of abuse.  My first calling is to my family...my awesome husband and children.  However, I have been praying for a long time about what I could do to help in my small corner of the world.  I work part time and I have small children.  Time is a commodity I don't have a lot of.

This quote has been attributed to several people:  "I am only one, but still I am one.  I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do."

So this blog will be my space for doing my part.

I do also love to have fun and I hope that will come through on here as well.  I am a runner, gardener, avid reader, and love music.

If you do find out my real, full name or know who I am, please honor my request to have my privacy respected.  I don't want to have to close this blog down and I have a story to share, but my family's safety is of utmost importance to me.

I may speak about things I love, but I will also speak about things I don't love.

Here goes: I adore my husband and children.  My church is a safe, wonderful place and I have had many conversations with my pastor and his wife about some of these topics.  They are wise and because of knowing that they agree with me on my opposition to the Pearls, Doug Phillips and Bill Gothard, I feel more courage to speak.

In my opinion, Sovereign Grace and Covenant Life Church, and several other organizations have not been as truthful as they should have been.

If you go to a Sovereign Grace church that you love, I am happy for you.  I am sure that there are some really good ones.  However, my experience has been a little different. 

I want the truth to be told and I am finding my voice, so have patience with me.

I am sure that there are some good people who love and follow the above organizations.  I am not here to judge them.  My goal is to speak only what has been my life story.

The Gospel Coalition: I know you mean well, and I own many of your books and have listened to many sermons online from your ministry and have met several of your council members and listened to some of them in person quite a few times.  Many of the members are men that I know first-hand are worthy of respect and honor.  Our church has used Tim Keller books for church classes and my husband and I have benefited greatly from the teachings.  I am a lover of Jesus and theology and I appreciate your ministry.  With that being said, I have been hurt over the years as you have (in my opinion) defended men who have covered up abuse.  

When children and victims need someone strong to stand up for them, you have been silent.

I am grateful for people like Boz Tchividjian, who have spoken out even when it was not popular to do so.

The Gospel is about speaking up for those who cannot (the abused, marginalized, hurting, defenseless and broken).

Because of my love for my Savior, I forgive you, just as I forgave those who abused me so many years ago.

But also because of my love for my Savior, I refuse to be silent any longer.  

Fierce Marriage and Time-Warp Wife: I love your blogs.  Keep doing what you're doing but please realize that the Pearls are regularly quoting from you on their Facebook page (which in turns, lends credibility to their organization).  People then re-share the original quote from you, but it appears as coming from "No Greater Joy."  I, for one, will have much greater joy if people realize the Pearls' teaching for what it is: abusive and wrong.  Please consider asking them to remove their quotes from your blogs and telling them that you do not wish to be associated with teachers who recommend tiny babies being switched over and over and fathers who molest being given another chance.  

"“But if your husband has sexually molested the children, you should approach him with it. If he is truly repentant (not just exposed) and is willing to seek counseling, you may feel comfortable giving him an opportunity to prove himself, as long as you know the children are safe. If there is any thought that they are not safe, or if he is not repentant and willing to seek help, then go to the law and have him arrested. Stick by him, but testify against him in court. Have him do about 10 to 20 years, and by the time he gets out, you will have raised the kids, and you can be waiting for him with open arms of forgiveness and restitution. Will this glorify God? Forever. You ask, “What if he doesn’t repent even then?” Then you will be rewarded in heaven equal to the martyrs, and God will have something to rub in the Devil’s face. God hates divorce — always, forever, regardless, without exception.”  -Michael Pearl
I began my first blog about seven years ago, but for privacy reasons, had to shut it down.  I have decided today to begin this one.

I feel a duty to write and it has compelled me to put away my shyness, fear and whatever else is holding me back and to begin talking.  I think best by writing, so this may not be helpful to anyone else except for me.

I may speak about abuse in the church; I may speak about my love of books and decorating and a simple, minimalistic life.